But I'm Reflecting Light
by RebelWade
Summary: This will probably wind up being a series of one-shots about Luke and Lorelai. Mostly "missing" or extended scenes. Expect some smut and angst along the way.
1. Chapter 1

**This will probably end up being a collection of "missing scenes" or scenes I thought should happen between scenes, or something. Idk. But I can guarantee smut, because #dirtymind, but probably not in every story. And it will be L &L 100%. **

**This first story is set between dinner at Sniffy's and the bedroom scene in 5x03, Written in the Stars.**

Lorelai couldn't stop smiling as she sat in Luke's truck after dinner. Her head was spinning. She couldn't believe how well this was going and that it had taken her so long to figure out that this was what she wanted. Her heart swelled as she thought of the horoscope and played his words over and over in her head: _I just want you to know I'm in… I am all in._

Sure, there had been some sexual tension at times in the past and it was obvious that they were jealous of each other's love interests, but it never occurred to her that he had thought of her _like that_ all this time. He was just Luke… Grumpy, manly, diner Luke. She couldn't have predicted how happy it would make her to be with her best friend

"I'm really happy right now. With this. Thanks for dinner." She said, turning to him as he got in the driver's seat.

"Me too," he replied, nodding his head. "I'm happy too."

She had never seen him smile this much and she was intrigued by his simultaneous confidence and coyness. The sweet grin that he seemed to want to hide as he looked down at his hands made her want to lean in and kiss him, but she decided to wait. They hadn't had any time alone since he got home from his 7-week renaissance adventure and hadn't kissed since the Dragonfly's trial run, so it wasn't natural yet for them to kiss at random.

"So what now?" She asked, hoping he wasn't thinking the night was over.

"I thought we would take this champagne and grab some pie at the diner," he suggested.

"Perfect!"

…

"You _really_ need to update this music selection, my friend," Lorelai teased, filing through his CDs as they drove to the diner. "You must have been into some hard core nerd rock in the 70s."

Luke glanced over and rolled his eyes. "You leave my music alone."

"I'm buying you some U2 albums, Luke. You haven't lived until you've jammed out to Bono on a road trip," she countered.

"Who knew I'd been dead inside all these years without Bono."

Luke's cynical banter made Lorelai strangely giddy. She set the CDs down and turned to him smiling. "All these years, did you know that this would work, you and me?"

Luke smiled and rubbed the back of his neck, letting out a small snort as he laughed nervously. "I don't know, I… It's always been… We've never…" he couldn't form the words he knew he wanted to say.

Lorelai continue to think out loud, "I mean we've obviously both thought about it but it alw—"

"You've thought about it?" Luke asked, cutting her off. There had been times he was sure she was interested, but he would talk himself out of it or some guy was already in her life.

Lorelai smiled and furrowed her eyebrow for a second, as if she thought that was an unwritten understanding between them already. "Of course I have… I'm not a nun," she said, "but it was always dangerous territory, you know? We've always had such a great friendship and the better our friendship got, the more it seemed like anything more would ruin what we had or something." After he was silent for a moment she continued, "but now that we're here, I can't imagine why we waited so long. It just feels right, doesn't it?"

"Yeah, it does," Luke said, covering her hand with his, making her heart leap. She smiled and turned her hand to interlock her fingers with his.

Luke parked the truck and they walked into the diner. "It is weird though, that this is our first date," Lorelai remarked, sitting on a stool as Luke put a slice of pie on a plate and reached for a fork, "It's the most un-first date ever. It's more like a 500th date. No awkward small talk about family and hobbies, which is probably a good thing. If we had to do that, you would have said 'fishing and baseball' and I would have said '20-year-old daughter and all things pink' and we would have asked for the check then and there."

Luke laughed and shook his head slightly.

"What?" She asked, "you disagree?"

"Maybe _you_ would have asked for the check," Luke argued, pushing her pie towards her to eat.

"Oh please, Luke," she bantered back, "You would have wanted out of there had you not built a tolerance for by annoying habits over the years, admit it!" She picked up the fork to dig into her pie while she waited for his short, sarcastic remark.

"I would have been overwhelmed, maybe," he started, leaning against the back counter, arms folded.

"HA!" she laughed, pointing with her fork as though he proved her point, then returned to focus on her pie.

"But only because I would have been completely enamored. In awe, maybe."

Lorelai's smile faded and hand lowered her fork onto the plate, stunned by his words. She slowly looked up at him, but Luke kept his eyes low, avoiding eye contact, uncomfortable and surprised by his own vulnerability.

He continued, "and anyway, any man willing to cut a date short with someone so beautiful is a moron."

Lorelai smiled, feeling her cheeks burn as _Luke_ said these things to her. She couldn't wait anymore. She stood and walked around the counter, leaving her pie behind. She stood in front of him and put her hands on his folded arms, prompting him to unfold them. He did, allowing her to take his hands. She started walking backwards, pulling him toward the curtain. "Take me upstairs, Luke," she said, almost in a whisper.

"Upstairs?" He asked, making sure he was hearing her correctly, trying not to assume that this meant she wanted what he was thinking. She smiled and nodded before she turned around to lead the way, keeping hold of one of his hands until he unlocked the apartment door.

They entered his apartment and Lorelai removed her jacket and placed it on a chair as Luke shut and locked the door, flipping a light on. Lorelai walked back to him, placing a hand on his chest, and reached over to turn the light back off. Then she looked back into his eyes and placed her hand on his cheek before placing a sweet kiss on his lips. "I can't believe how sweet you are," she said and continued kissing him, brushing her tongue against his lips. He parted them and took her kiss deeper, bringing her in closer to him as his strong arms curled around her waist, moving up and down her back, in disbelief that he's kissing and touching Lorelai Gilmore. He was spurred on when a moan escaped from her throat, causing him to need more. He reached down and cupped her bottom, squeezing her lightly, getting his fill of her firm ass.

Suddenly he stopped and pulled her away, holding onto her shoulders, both of them gasping for air. "I didn't bring you hear to…"

"I know," she said, breathing heavy, looking at him with confidence, and taking his arms and moving them from her shoulders to his sides.

"I mean, I don't expect this. It's only our first date," Luke explained.

Lorelai smiled brightly and stepped in closer, pushing his jacket off his shoulders. "Luke, it's our first date after 8 years of emotional foreplay."

Luke laughed and rolled his eyes as his jacket hit the floor by the door. "Geez…" he said, acting embarrassed by her dirty comments. "Is it weird though? You and me? We've always just been in the friend zone."

"Haven't you thought about it?" She asked, looking up at him innocently while unbuttoning the top button of his shirt.

"Lorelai…" he said, sounding annoyed, but really just buying himself time to figure out how to answer that question tastefully.

She moved to the next button. "I have," she said, causing his eyebrows to raise, "have you?"

"Yes." He said immediately. "You have no idea how much."

She looked down coyly, smiling, then looked back at him with more happiness than she'd felt in a long time, loving the fact that he wanted her to feel respected and wanted her to know that he wasn't in this for sex, but her heart and body needed more of him tonight, all of him. She reached back up to his face, "I want you, Luke. Take me to bed."

That was all he needed to hear before he grasped her waist and turned them around, pressing her up against the door, earning a startled gasp from Lorelai. His mouth plunged itself to her neck, kissing and sucking those sensitive spots as she threw her head back to give him more access. Once she got a hold of her senses she remembered that she had work to do and returned to frantically unbutton his shirt, pulling it from his pants and nudging it off when she finished. Luke threw it off his arms and reached back to remove his undershirt, then he pulled Lorelai by the waist, walking backward to his bed, refusing to take his lips off of her. His tongue tangled with hers and she arched herself into him as they walked. The feeling of her breasts against her chest was too much for him and he quickly reached for the hem of her shirt, whipping it over her head and throwing it to the ground. They both stepped out of their shoes before Luke hit the bed and sat down, trying to pull Lorelai down with him, but Lorelai stood back and quickly undid her jeans, pulled them down, and stood before him in a black, lacy bra and thong set, eyes lidded and full of want. Luke stared, mesmerized by her beauty, silently praying she wouldn't change her mind.

"Oh my God," Lorelai said, looking at Luke and placing a hand on his chest, "I'm shredding all that flannel tomorrow."

Luke laughed and pulled her closer to him. He kissed her stomach and moved his hands from her lower back, to her bottom, to her legs, and back up. "I can't believe this is happening," he said, his voice, low and sexy.

Lorelai smiled and moved to straddle him on the bed, kissing his lips while her hands made quick work of his belt. "Believe it," she said as she removed it.

Luke held onto her and flipped them over onto the bed. Lorelai reached down to unbutton his pants, but Luke was ahead of her, removing them in seconds. She smiled wickedly as he looked away to throw them to the ground, seeing an opportunity that he wouldn't expect. She watched his face as he turned back to her and she firmly took hold of his erection through his boxers. They gasped simultaneously. She because he was harder and larger than she had expected and he because, well, that's what she was going for. He dropped his head to her shoulder, grunting at the sensation.

"Shit, oh god, Lorelai." He reacted as she giggled.

She moved her hand up and down his shaft, breathing harder as she anticipated the pleasure she would feel later. He groaned deeply, finding the strength to move.

"You're so hard and big," she said in a low, sexy voice, feeling his arousal grow even more at her words, "you feel so good."

Luke raised his head to look at her face. "You're gonna have to stop doing that."

"You want me to stop?" She asked, confirming.

"I'd like to last more than two minutes," he clarified.

Lorelai smiled at him, staring into his eyes darkly, "ok," she said, mischievously shrugging her shoulders and removed her hand slowly, positioning his boxer-clad erection on her warmth, breathing out in ecstasy at the feeling of him against her needy core and rubbing herself against him right as she released her hand.

"Fuu… Gaahh… Lorelai! That doesn't help!" He said, his eyes rolling to the back of his head, Lorelai giggling, pleased with herself.

"Oh this is how it's gonna be, huh?" Luke asked, resolving himself to revenge.

Before she could answer, Luke possessed her mouth with his tongue and quickly reached behind her to unhook her bra with ease. He stripped it off her and immediately claimed her breast with his mouth. Lorelai gasped and moaned as Luke tongue swirled around her nipple, pinching and kneading the other with his hand. He moved his mouth to the other breast but let his hand travel lower. His fingers teased her as they moved slowly over the lace panties she desperately wanted him to remove. His eyes closed tightly as he felt her dampness through the material.

"Take them off," she breathed, her hands in his hair.

He smiled and kissed his way over her stomach, pressing a finger down against her core, rubbing her smoothly in circles. Lorelai flinched and gasped at the contact, her hips thrusting forward, asking for more. Luke's mouth reached his destination and he kissed the lace over her core. Lorelai, moaned wantingly and grabbed the sheets next to her in frustration. Luke slid the lace off, and kissed her long legs slowly on his way back. He pressed a kiss to her thigh, then to the crease between it and her wet heat.

"Luke, please…" Lorelai pleaded.

Luke chuckled and kissed the other thigh, sucking the same spot before moving to the crease in that leg. Lorelai continued letting out strained moans. He hovered over her center and blew cold air.

"Luke, I swear if you don't li—Ahhh, oh god! Yes, yes!" His tongue slide into her folds and licked her completely from bottom to top in before she finished the sentence. He swirled his tongue around her clit, lapping up her wetness, groaning in pleasure as he tasted her, his deep vibrations sending more pleasure through her. Lorelai flung her hands to his head, her fingers in his hair as he licked her, gaining speed as she became more and more swollen. He took her clit into his mouth and sucked while flicking it with his tongue over and over. His tongue rubbed all the right places and her senses overpowered her.

"Ahh… mmm, oh god… you do that so good, Luke," She moaned. "Oh god, yes… I… ahh… I'm gonna come."

She tried to pull him up, but Luke held his post, licking her clit faster and with more pressure, inserting a finger into her and pumping quickly. She writhed beneath his face as she came, yelling his name, "Luke! Oh Luke…" When her convulsions slowed, he licked her one more time, making her flinch at the now tender flesh. She pulled his face to hers and tasted herself on his tongue. "Holy shit, Luke… Where'd you learn that?" She asked, feeling her core continue to pulsate. "Actually, don't tell me," she said after she thought about it for a second. She swung her leg around him and flipped them over, removing his boxers before climbing back up to straddle him. She raised herself up and he positioned himself at her entrance. They both moaned and exhaled harshly as she sunk down onto him, her warm core enveloping his erection.

"You feels so good inside me, Luke," she said, moving again to feel the friction of his hard, thick cock against her walls. "Oh, god, you feel so good."

Luke couldn't speak. He stared at Lorelai's amazing body on top of him, heard her sexy words, and felt himself in her warmth. All of the sensations were overwhelming. He closed his eyes tightly and groaned as she began to find a rhythm, moving up and down over him. He opened them again and brought his hands up to her breasts, squeezing them gently and pinching her nipples. She moved faster, breathing hard. She covered on of his hands with her own on her breast. "I love the way you touch me," she said.

Luke sat up and helped her move her hips as she continued moving up and down, back and forth, moaning deeply. He flipped them over, unable to control himself anymore. She wrapped her legs around him and he thrusted into her hard and fast as she breathed, "yes Luke, more, more…". She felt her walls get tighter around him and felt himself come to the brink.

"Lorelai, I can't last any…"

She took his face in her hands and kissed him deeply. "Come Luke. Me too… Ahh, god. Yes, I'm with you. Ohh yes, yes!" He erratically thrusted into her as they both came, slowing only when she started to breathe more evenly, making sure she rode out her orgasm to the last second. He collapsed on top of her, her arms gathering him close, kissing his shoulder. He lifted his head and looked at her. They both smiled and laughed, pressing their foreheads together.

"Wow," He said.

"Yeah."

He rolled off of her and onto his back beside her, offering his hand between them as she rolled over onto her side. She ran her fingers up and down his arm and placed her hand in his.

"I can't believe you kept that horoscope…"


	2. Chapter 2

**Fill-in of thoughts and extended/extra scenes in episode 4x11, In the Clamor and Clangor. This takes place after Luke tells Lorelai he's living with Nicole and they fight at the diner, and after he shows up at her place shoveling snow for another fight.**

 **Angst angst angst. Thinking about turning this into it's own story. Let me know what you all think!**

 _Three weeks. Three damn weeks! How the hell could he be so non-chalant about this? Have I been reading more into our friendship than I should have? God, I feel like I'm nothing to him! Is he just the diner guy and I'm just a regular customer he banters about coffee with to get good tips? Is that all I am to him?_

Lorelai was furious. She held back tears as her anger fumed. She paced her house looking for something to distract her but every step was met with increasing rage at the fact that Luke had moved in with _Nicole_ three weeks ago and failed to mention it to her. She had seen him nearly every day for the past three weeks, so he had every chance to update her on such an important life decision. In fact…

 _When did he even have time to move? Wouldn't I have noticed? Seen his truck packed up or boxes around the diner? I didn't even know he and Nicole were so... on that level. They're not! They can't be! They just decided to give it another shot! What the hell is he thinking?_

She felt betrayed, and she knew she was more hurt than she should be, but she justified it through their friendship. Lorelai is strong and independent, a woman who is not easily shaken, but this shook her, and she was struggling to avoid the reasons why. She tries more than anything to avoid those reasons. Luke was always in the back of her mind as someone who supported and cared for her, who she thought of romantically from time to time, but each of those times, she dismissed the thought immediately because she never opened herself up to something if there was a possibility that she could get hurt. She never sought a man unless he sought her first, knowing she wouldn't be rejected. She's shared moments with Luke that seemed to indicate he was interested, but he never acted, so she wrote it off and buried any glimmer of feelings she had for him.

"I have to get out of the house." She resolved, feeling like she was going crazy. She grabbed a coat and hat from the closet and walked out the door to try and clear her head.

 _Get a fucking grip, Lorelai._ She thought to herself. _Just face it… Luke moved. He's with Nicole. He's—_

The church bells rang loudly, clanging through her thoughts. The rang on and on, disrupting any train of thought she had. She found herself in front of Luke's diner, frustrated and feeling like a little rebellion would do her some good.

The airy ring of the bells on the diner door jingled as she walked in and stood before Luke. He stepped toward her, braced himself for round three.

"Wanna help me break the bells?"

Luke nodded and agreed without hesitation. "I'll get my toolbox."

Both parties felt relieved, like the tension had settled now that they were talking about something different and about to spend time together as friends once again.

 _Okay._ Lorelai told herself as he turned around to retrieve his tools. _We're okay. Maybe I was overreacting or thinking too much into this._ She swiped a donut and followed Luke upstairs.

"I'll just be a sec," Luke said, making a B-line to the closet.

Lorelai paused, completely confused upon entry into Luke's apartment. Because it was just that—Luke's apartment. She was expecting an empty office with supplies here and there, maybe some things leftover from the move, items that needed to be stored. But there stood before her, a fully-lived-in apartment: dirty dishes piled up in the sink, bed unmade, clothing strewn across the bedroom, not at all moved out of. She took in the sight, trying to wrap her mind around the thousands of explanations swirling around her head, but none added up to make any sense. For some reason, she realized, Luke wanted her to _think_ he had moved in with Nicole. But she didn't want to fight anymore, at least not yet, so she faked a smile and they headed towards their conquest.

They arrived to the church and were back to their old routine: Lorelai playing with flashlights, Luke telling her to stop, Luke explaining why Lorelai's ideas were irrational, Lorelai finding dirty jokes at every possible chance, friendly and quick banter which they both always enjoyed. Luke outed himself as the previous destroyer of the bells and Lorelai realized she was in better company than she ever intended to be. When the conversation turned to Luke's tools, Lorelai couldn't stop herself from prying… She had to know.

"So um… why wasn't your toolbox at your new place?"

"I needed it here," Luke said, looking up at the bell tower with his flashlight.

"Huh," Lorelai was unconvinced, "Moving usually requires lots of tools. Hanging things, putting things together…"

Luke's response was automatic. "Nicole hired a professional picture hanger, we didn't have anything to put together. Hand me the screw driver." He stretches his hand out.

"Philips or flathead?" she replied in a matter-of-fact tone, enjoying Luke's look of surprise. "I know things."

"Philips."

She hands him the screwdriver.

Lorelai decided to stop skirting around the issue. "Luke, how come you told me you moved?"

"I did move."

"Well you may have moved but none of your stuff did."

"What are you talking about? Hey hand me the open-ended wrench."

Lorelai let out an exacerbated breath. "Luke, I was in your apartment. It's _exactly_ the same."

"No it's not."

"I just think it's weird you're pretending to move when you didn't."

Luke moved from his work station to look at her, frustrated by her questioning. "I _did move."_

"Luke your bed wasn't even made," she prodded further.

"So?"

"There were dishes in the sink. There was some kind of shake in the blender, MegaMan protein powder on the counter- remind me to mock you for that later, by the way."

"Can we talk about something else? Or, better yet, let's not talk and just get this done," Luke said, feigning friendliness.

"Does Nicole think you moved?" Lorelai knew she could get to him if she pushed the right buttons.

"Of course she thinks I moved, I did move!" His voice growing louder with each syllable.

"Do you sleep there?" The more minute and intimate questions would break him and it was obvious to her that he didn't.

"Of course I sleep there," Luke's responses became shorter and he was getting annoyed that he couldn't finish his work on the bells without her interruptions.

"When was the last time you slept there?"

"I live there."

"So last night?"

Luke scratched his head through his baseball cap. "Yeah- I had an early delivery and it didn't make sense to sleep there."

Lorelai started to laugh beneath her breath, "the day before?"

"I was there for dinner?"

"And after dinner?"

"Nicole was getting a sore throat so it made sense to go back to my place and not get sick!" Luke explained, proud of himself for his excuses.

"Your place." _Got him_.

"My old place!" He quickly corrected.

"You didn't say your old place, you said your place!"

"Well I meant my old place."

Luke would not let up, and the questions she had masked in competitive banter were now frustrating the hell out of her.

"Luke, you don't live with Nicole." Lorelai was fed up with this game. She was emotional and confused and would get the answers she needed whether he liked it or not.

"Yes. I do." Luke refused to back down.

"You watch her TV, you eat her food, you keep stuff in a duffle bag at her house. You're a rude guest, not her boyfriend!"

"Husband."

"Whooole other discussion," she argued with an involuntary, yet obligatory eye roll.

"You know what," Luke said, also fed up with this conversation, "you're doing it again."

"Doing what again?"

"You're passing judgement on my relationship with Nicole."

"I'm not passing judgement."

"You passed judgement on our marriage, you passed judgement on our divorce, and now you're passing judgement on our living together."

Lorelai couldn't believe that Luke was so oblivious to what she saw. "I'm not passing judgement on you living together. _You're_ passing judgement on you living together… by not living together!" Her throat felt tight as she fought back tears. _Why does he fight so hard to make me think he's with her?_

"You know, I was a little tipsy on that cruise ship but I don't remember anyone pronouncing us husband and wife and _Lorelai._ " At this point, Luke had forgotten about his job and turned his attention to his opponent.

"They may as well have because I spend as much time as you do," biting sarcasm even more apparent in her voice than usual.

"And the judgement's back!"

"I could move in with you guys and you wouldn't know."

"You know, none of this is any of your business."

Lorelai had had enough. "It's absolutely my business!" She raised her voice.

"How?" He asked incredulously.

"Because!" She was trying to think more quickly than she spoke. She hesitated some, trying not to reveal too much, but the words kept spilling out in her hot anger. "I wasted a week of my life adjusting to the idea that you had moved, only to find out that you haven't moved!"

"How much adjusting did you have to do?" Luke recanted. Lorelai tried to keep her breath steady, refusing to break, wondering when the tables turned on her in this argument. "Nothing's changed! I still see you every day! I still cook your food! I still serve your coffee! _What do you care?_ "

Lorelai's resolve broke. Her voice softened as she let her feelings consume her, unable to avoid them any longer. "I care," her voice was almost a whisper.

" _Why?_ " Luke begged, desperate for a real answer.

"Because I don't want you to move."

Luke needed more than that. "Why?" They had come to moments like this so many times before but neither of them had ever taken that last step to confirm to the other what they already knew, though it was knowledge that they both kept hidden within themselves. "Why don't you want me to move?" His voice was low and sincere. His eyes desperate.

Lorelai's chest burned as she looked at the ground in front of her. She shook her head, hating that he was putting this on her, making her say it. She kept her voice barely above a whisper, fearful that if she were any louder her voice would waver. "Luke… you know. I know that you know."

Luke's tone matched hers. _"What, Lorelai? What do I know? What do you want?"_

She looked at him, her chin quivering, tears on the brink, but she refused to let them fall. She shrugged as she gave in.

"You."

And just like that, everything that had ever gone unsaid was out in the open, clear as day, understood between the two of them.

"You told me to go." Luke's voice started low, but grew louder as though he was processing everything as the words were formed. "You said there was no reason that I shouldn't go, Lorelai. I went because you told me to go!"

She knew immediately that he was talking about the cruise. "Yeah, I said you should go! I was trying to be a good friend!" She yelled, barely holding it together, trying to put together what was happening. "I didn't say you should get married!"

Luke turned around and in a flash, Lorelai saw him punch the wall of the church as he yelled, " _dammit_!"

Lorelai was unsure of what to do, eyes wide, tears finally falling. "Luke…" she said, her voice shaking. She had seen him mad before, but never physically violent.

Luke stood leaning with his arm against the wall, his back to Lorelai as he tried to calm himself down. He couldn't look at her. "One word from you and I would have left her at the dock, Lorelai. One word. I gave you every chance. I've _given_ you every chance to just say something!" He turned to face her again.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Lorelai's sadness had turned quickly into anger. _"You_ have given _me_ every chance?" She let out a frustrated laugh. "Unbelievable. I have given you more moments and more chances than I can even count! You cannot put this on me! The ball has been in your court. You should have done something! Said something!"

" _You're out of my goddamn league, Lorelai! Look at you!"_ Their eyes were fixed on one another, anger stirring from across the room. Lorelai's tears, whether from sadness or rage, continued to streak her face, her eyes wide at witnessing his fury. "Of course there were moments. I saw moments everywhere because I wished for them, hell, _I prayed_ for them, but I convinced myself they were all in my imagination because you would _never_ go for me! You go for guys like Christopher and that teacher- clean cut guys who come from money! You don't want me! You couldn't have possibly wanted me! And if for some reason you did, it had to be you that said something! It had to be, Lorelai!"

Hurt consumed Lorelai and suddenly all she wanted to do was escape. "I can't believe you think I'm so stuck up and self-absorbed." She wiped tears from her face. "Well you got your wish, Luke. I said it."

"Well it's too late."

Lorelai nodded, a small sob escaped from her throat. "Yeah, I guess it is," she said as she turned and fled through the door.

"Lorelai, wait."

She didn't.

"Lorelai!"

…

She didn't know where to begin processing everything that just happened. She felt like an idiot. She hates being vulnerable, and she did it even when she _knew_ it would hurt her. The feelings and emotions she masks under her wit had been uncovered and she hated it. She should never have said anything. It was better to ignore because at least they could always be friends… but now? She didn't know. She marched into her house, shedding her coat and hat on the floor, and plopped onto the couch. With her head in her hands, she wept silently.

"You're seeing someone."

Luke's voice startled Lorelai and she stood quickly, wiping the tears from her eyes and turning to face him as he stood in the opening to the living room behind the couch.

"Don't tell me you're not because I know you. Your clothes are tighter and more low-cut. Your skirts are shorter even when its freezing, your perfume is different when you're planning on seeing him, and you try to work him into your schedule so you're at the diner at different times. You don't like to tell me when you're dating, but I can tell when you are." Luke was breathing deeply, like he had just run to her house. Lorelai walked around the couch on the opposite side of the room as she continued to allow her mind to catch up, wondering if she left the door open or if she just didn't hear him come in.

"Yeah, well I didn't have any other _clear_ offers," she retorted.

"Don't do that. No more jokes or hiding behind your verbal marathons."

Fine, she wasn't in the mood anyway. If he wants the truth, he can have it. "Yeah, I am seeing someone… Jason… But he doesn't mean half as much to me as you do, Luke."

He rolled his eyes.

"Don't roll your eyes at me!" she said, arms pointing at him angrily. "Don't you dare act like I don't care about you, Luke! We've been through too much! The fact that you think I'm some Hartford snob who only dates men who come from money goes to show how little you really know me!

"That night we were supposed to paint the diner- what happened?"

She felt a pain in her chest, remembering how much she had hurt him the night she stood him up, realizing how much it affected him if he is still hurt by it. "Luke, that has nothing to do with this!"

"Were you with him? Christopher? Did you sleep with him that night instead of coming to paint the diner?" His voice cracked, but he was insistent.

"Luke…"

"Just answer."

She paused for what seemed like minutes.

"Yes." It came out in a strangled whisper. "And the night before that we sat on the floor of your diner and I waited for you to kiss me. You didn't."

Luke couldn't have stared at her more intensely and she could see him trying to think all of this through, make sense of it like she was trying to do.

"Luke, I— "

"I'm married." He said it quickly, as though he'd known he needed to say it this whole time but had to force it out. His voice was low, full of regret.

She scoffed and rolled her eyes, "On a drunken whim, Luke!"

"Whim or not, I have to own my mistakes and try to make such a huge commitment work. This isn't just a light decision I made at a drive through! I can't just give up so easily."

"Which is the most frustrating thing about all of this!" She yelled, not thinking before she spoke. "Of course you have to try because it's you! But its keeping me from you, and it's also one of the stupid reasons I love you!" Her eyes widened a moment later after realizing her confession… Confessing it to herself for the first time as well.

Silence deafened the room for what seemed like an eternity. Lorelai's mind was running a mile a minute trying to find ways out of this.

In three large strides, Luke crossed the room and closed the distance between them with an unexpected and fiercely passionate kiss. Lorelai stumbled slightly and moaned into him as he caught her by surprise. She sank into the kiss as she felt his warm arms around her waist. She took his face in her hands and wrapped her arms around his neck, whimpers and moans escaping with every new and intense touch.

Minutes later, Luke pulled back and leaned his forehead against hers, holding her in his tight embrace. "Why didn't you tell me before?"

"I don't know," she confessed. "I would never let myself really love you because I didn't know if you—"

"I do. I have. For so long."

Lorelai smiled, leaning into him. They both sigh in the other's arms for a moment before she lifted her lips to his once more, but Luke stepped back an inch.

"But, I can't." The words were physically painful for him to get out.

She grabbed his shirt in her fists as her smile furrowed into pain. "No. Please."

"I'm sorry."

He squeezed her tightly, knowing he had to leave, but desperate to hold on for one moment longer. He kissed her forehead.

"I'm sorry," He whispered again, and walked away, refusing to look back, knowing he wouldn't be strong enough to leave if he didn't go now.

She stood in a stunned silence in the middle of her living room and watched the man she loved walk away from her. Sadness, anger, jealously, outrage, hurt, betrayal… So many emotions took over her that she decided not to deal at all. She faced her head forward, stood up straight, and walked up the stairs to her bed, hoping tomorrow she'd wake up and find this all to be a nightmare.


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed ch2 and confirmed that I should make it into its own fic! I reposted it and added two more chapters. It's titled "Love or Marriage". I hope you enjoy!**

 **This was inspired by a private message I received asking me to write about what I thought Lorelai meant when she said that sex with Luke was "primordial". So here's my dirty idea of what that scene looked like after the limo ride in 5x21.**

Luke's hand mindlessly ran up and down Lorelai's smooth leg as they drunkenly talked about their night in the limo. Lorelai found herself overcome with love and gratitude toward the gracious and giving man in front of her.

"Hey have I thanked you enough for escorting me, and being such a good sport, and shaking hands with all the big city folk you don't like, aaand putting extra cherries in my Manhattan?" Lorelai asked, loving the way his hands always feel on her skin.

"Yeah, you did," Luke confirmed.

She smiled at him seductively, "There will be more thanking, later on tonight…"

She captured the sweet kiss he leaned in for and she placed a hand on his chest. She felt his tongue brush against hers. "Tastes like peppermint." She commented. Luke nodded and leaned in further, wrapping his arm around her. He deepened the kiss, circling his tongue around hers. She sighed into him and he pushed her down on the limo seat. She held onto his neck, pulling him down with her, parting her legs beneath him as he straightened out over her.

"We probably shouldn't do this in the limo," she whispered breathlessly, but she gave no other indication that she wanted to stop- arching her body into him as he nipped at her neck and chest.

"Probably not," he replied, pulling the neckline of her dress over her breast, devouring and nipple.

Lorelai gasped, pleasure rushing through her as he licked and sucked her exposed bud. "Oh, god…" she moaned, turned on by how daring Luke was to do this outside of the house. He _never_ did things like this. He pulled the other side down and gave the other breast the same attention. Between the buzz of the several Manhattans and the sensation of Luke's touch, Lorelai was in ecstasy. She reached down and started to pull Luke's shirt from his pants, then began to work on the buttons hastily. Luke reached up and stopped her hand. She looked at him curiously.

"The driver will know if we're half undressed," he said, eyes lidded. He took her hand and pulled her up. "Your dress is an easy fix," he explained as he put her dress back over her breasts, "button up shirts, not so much." He kneaded her breasts, unable to resist this amazing woman, and returned to suck on her neck.

"You know what else is an easy fix?" Lorelai asked, her head tilted to give him more access.

"What?"

She took his head in her hands to make him look at her as she flashed that sexy smile at him once more. "Zippers." With those mischievous eyes and wide grin, she climbed over him to straddle his lap. Her hands reached between them to undo his zipper and she wrapped her hand around him tightly.

"Ahh," she sighed, eyes locked on his, "hard…"

She stroked him once, twice, and brought her hand to his tip, massaging it in circles with her thumb before continuing to stroke him slowly, but firmly. She leaned in and breathed into his ear. "God I love your hard cock, Luke. I want it inside me, slamming into me." His breath got heavy, hands squeezed her ass. Her voice was low, slightly slurred, unbelievably sexy. "I want you to fuck me tonight, Luke," she teased as she increased her speed just a little, enjoying the groans that escaped from his throat, "I need you to fuck me hard and fast." He thrust up into her hand. "I want to ride you so hard you'll be thinking about it for months. God you make me so wet."

He snapped. Held onto her as he moved her back under him, laying her on the seat of the limo. He wasted no time, lifted her dress up to her hips and pushed the thin material of her thong to the side before taking her already swollen clit into his mouth. She moaned loudly and encouraged his ministrations as she tugged on his hair with her fingers. Luke licked her like she was his lunch, he swirled his tongue all over her wetness, making her writhe beneath him. His fingers joined as he pumped two of them in and out of her roughly, relentlessly.

"Oh fuck, oh yes, yes, Luke! Don't stop! Yes!" Luke kept up with her movements below him, giving her clit every bit of attention it deserved. When he felt her tightening around his fingers, he added a third, earning a scream of his name, which made him smirk. As she came to the brink, he used his other index finger to press firmly against her anus, sending shockwaves of pleasure through her core. Lorelai thrashed and pulsated beneath him and he continued to feast on her until she finished her orgasm. She moaned and swore and repeated his name until the waves ended and her breathing slowed.

The car stopped in front of the diner just as he came up from beneath her to kiss her fervently, worshiping her tongue with his own. She pulled away. "Home," she nodded toward the door. Luke pulled the handle and stumbled out of the door to the diner, offering his hand to help Lorelai out after him. Luke found his keys and drunkenly stumbled through them to find the right one. Lorelai did not help the situation as she held him from behind, one hand caressing his solid abs, the other stroking his erection through his slacks.

"You make me come harder than I ever have with anyone in my life," she said, making him groan, "I love the way you touch me and lick me."

He finally managed to get the door open and he took Lorelai's hand and practically ran up the stairs. They got to the next locked door and Luke couldn't wait. He brought her in front of him and pushed her roughly against the door, reclaiming her mouth with his, filling his hands with her breasts. He pushed her jacked off of her and thrust his covered erection against her core. She whimpered in want, unbuttoning his shirt.

"I need you now Luke, I need you in me now."

Luke found his keys again and stumbled just once before unlocking the door. While he did this, Lorelai removed her panties. Luke swung the door open and saw her panties laying on the floor in the hallway and lost it. He turned her body around and lifted her dress up over her ass as Lorelai held onto the door frame in front of her, arching her body to give him easier access from behind. He unzipped his pants again and pulled himself out and slammed his hot erection into her wet, swollen core. They both moaned and grunted as he filled her. He reached around and massaged her clit while he slammed into her, the slap of their bodies echoing through the hallway. She arched into him more and moved one hand from the door post to his head behind her. He thrusted hard and lifted the dress the rest of the way over her, throwing it inside his apartment, admiring the dresses she wears with no bra. He caressed her back, stomach, and breasts with one hand while the other attended to her clit. Her knees buckled.

"Luke, I can't stand up much longer," she panted.

He pulled out of her and spun her around to face him. She pushed his pants and boxers off of him and kissed him while she lifted one leg to his hip, prompting him to lift her. He grabbed the back of her thighs as he kicked off his shoes with his pants and boxers and lifted her with ease. Her legs remained wrapped around him as he walked to the bed. She removed his shirts on the way. They were finally both completely naked when he fell onto the bed over her. As soon as they hit, Lorelai rolled them over.

"Sit against the bed frame," she demanded.

He complied and sat up against the bed frame and before he knew what she was doing, he felt her warm mouth take him in. He moaned and threaded his fingers through her hair.

"Oh god, Lorelai… You're so beautiful. You do that so good."

She swirled her tongue around his tip and sucked it as she pressed her tongue down on his opening. His head fell back and she began bobbing her head up and down, her lips and tongue deliciously coating his shaft. She let him go with a "pop" when she felt him getting close and she climbed up to straddle him, sinking down on him and quickly beginning to move back and forth, holding onto the bed frame behind him to give her more leverage. She rode him fast, pleasure and friction surging through both of them. Luke thrusted into her as she moved her hips, nipped her neck and chest, pinched her sensitive nipples.

"Oh god Luke, I love you. You feel so good inside me," Lorelai breathed.

Luke was too far gone and she knew he couldn't form sentences. She smiled at the thought.

"You love me?" She asked, knowing the answer, moving over him faster and faster.

He nodded.

"You finish us. Flip us over and fuck me hard until I come."

Luke didn't even need for her to finish the sentence. He pushed forward and tipped them backward so that he was on top of her with their heads at the foot of the bed. He thrusted into her, slamming hard, pulling out almost completely with each thrust, holding her shoulders so she wouldn't be pushed off the bed, slightly failing as her head fell back off the mattress.

Her walls tightened around his length. "Harder, Luke. Harder. Yes! Yes!" She practically yelled. "Oh god, I'm coming, Luke. Oh Luke, yes, yes!" She moaned and clawed his back as she convulsed. He followed almost immediately and erratically thrust as he spilled into her, grunting against her chest.

He laid on top of her for a minute, both catching their breath, enjoying the feeling of the other. Once their bodies returned to earth, Luke moved aside and allowed Lorelai to scoot down so her head was actually on the mattress.

"I think that was the best sex I've ever had," Lorelai claimed as she rolled to her side to be spooned by her partner.

"Yeah," he managed to get out.

"I love you." She wrapped her fingers around his hand as he held her close.

"You have no idea," he replied, making her smile. "Should we move to the other side of the bed?" he asked, not budging.

Lorelai thought about it for a second, but couldn't even convince herself to open her eyes. "Can't move."

Luke grunted in agreement. And with that, they drifted off to sleep.


End file.
